“Permission to Fail”—Dealing with Failure as a PhD Student

This was originally published in the August 2023 edition of the Monthly Monitor, available here.

It is okay not to do something right the first time, as long as we don’t give up. 

PhD’s are known as “terminal” degrees, and while difficult, are  not impossible to obtain. Due to these high stakes and heightened expectations, oftentimes students, PhD faculty, and staff alike can be known to hold themselves to a higher standard than ever before. This can lead to positive outcomes, including more success, bigger feelings of accomplishment, and more networking or job opportunities. However, this higher standard can also have negative effects at times. As a student myself, however, I can only speak on my experience and those of my peers that have expressed the same. These negative effects can include heavy imposter syndrome, high stress, overworking, and a fear of failure. 

“Failure” within the PhD world can come in different forms: conference rejection, a manuscript getting desk rejected, lower student feedback from teaching, issues recruiting enough participants for studies, or not passing high stake exams and defenses. 

My recent experiences with “failures” left me feeling  judged and looked down upon due to the picture of perfection that often permeates  academic culture. It made me question myself and whether I am where I should be, how others would think about me, and my work ethic. This made me ponder why I feel this way and why it’s such a big deal, which made me realize that very few people talk about failing in the PhD arena. Failure is kept a secret as if it is something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. This drastically changed my perspective and allowed me to realize the following: I have permission to fail. 

Giving yourself permission to fail, especially when you have tried your hardest, can alleviate the stress and disappointment that comes if it does happen. We can be so hard on ourselves and feel that we should excel in EVERY endeavor, so when things are not perfect, it causes issues and feelings of doubt and defeat. However, I am only human, and know that everybody falls short at times. I realize that personally, failure is not the issue; it’s how I deal with the failure that determines what happens next. 

HOW DO I DEAL WITH FAILURE? 

It takes a lot of self-reflection to get a rejection and learn to be okay with it. In my recent experience, I have learned to acknowledge that I did not do as well as I would have liked and figure out how to move forward. 

Here is a short example of my process: Let’s say I submit a manuscript for publication, and it is rejected. I have two options: I can acknowledge it and move forward, or I can stay stuck in my failure. 

If I acknowledge the reasoning for the rejection, I can then figure out what I can do to improve my manuscript and either submit it to the same journal with applicable changes or submit it somewhere else. If I stay stuck in my failure however, there is a possibility that the manuscript will never be submitted, meaning there is 0 chance that it will be accepted, and all my hard work could go to waste.

So a few short tips to help deal with “failure”: 

• Give yourself time to process the failure. 

• Make a plan for how to deal with it. 

• Talk to anyone supportive that can help you get through it (friends, family, mentors, etc).

Although it is easier said than done when dealing with “failures” in the PhD world, Practice makes Progress. Dealing with recent failures that I never imagined almost knocked my confidence down as a PhD student, but I realized that it doesn’t have to stop at rejection or failure. It is okay not to do something right the first time, as long as I don’t give up.